What Is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault is a crime that happens when you are forced, threatened or manipulated into sexual contact against your will. Commonly referred to as rape, sexual assault is the most under-reported crime in the United States.
Sex without consent is rape, whether the offender is a stranger or someone you know. Rape can happen to anyone at any age, at any place, at any time. The way a person dresses or behaves doesn’t cause rape. Few convicted rapists remember how the victim was dressed or what the victim looked like.
Rape is a crime of violence and power. It is prompted by an urge to control another human being in the most personal way. It is not prompted by sexual desire.
No one “asks” or “deserves” to be raped. Rapists surprise their victims by catching them off guard, by tricking them, by taking advantage of daily activities of life or by lying.
Sexual assault includes:
• Rapesexual intercourse against a person’s will
• Forcible sodomyanal or oral sex against a person’s will
• Forcible object penetrationpenetrating someone’s vagina or
anus, or causing that person to penetrate her or himself, against
that person’s will
• Marital rape
• Unwanted sexual touching
• Sexual contact with minors, whether consensual or not
• Incest (Sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion between family
members.)
• Any unwanted or coerced sexual contact
Other sexual crimes include:
• Sexual harassment
• Solicitation of minors through the Internet
• Possession of child pornography
Contrary to what many people believe, not all rapes involve extreme physical force or brutality. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT INFORMATION. IF YOU THINK……
"It can't happen to me."
Yes, it can. Sexual violence can happen to anyone-regardless of gender, race, age, socio-economic status, or religion. Victims of sexual assault include infants, people in their eighties, people of color, lesbians/gays, individuals with disabilities, women, and men.
It is believed that 1 in 3 adult women and 1 in 6 adult men will be sexually assaulted in her/his lifetime.
Teens 16 to 19 are 3 1/2 times more likely to be victims of rape than the general population.
25-35% of child sexual abuse victims are males.
"Sexual violence can sometimes be the victim's fault."
Sexual violence is NEVER the victim's fault. It doesn't matter if the victim was dressed seductively, drinking or using drugs, out at night alone, homosexual, on a date with the perpetrator, etc. - no one asks to be raped. The responsibility and blame lie with the perpetrator, never with the victim.
The absence of injuries often suggests to others that the victim failed to resist and, therefore, must have consented. Often, rapists only need the threat of violence to control their victims. They also sometimes use "date rape" drugs to incapacitate their victims.
Some victims submit to the assault for fear of greater harm. Submitting does not mean the victim gave consent. Each rape victim does whatever he/she needs to do at the time in order to survive.
"If a child I know was being sexually abused, he/she would tell me right away."
Because they are confused by the abuse, feel responsible, or are being threatened by the abuser, children don't automatically tell a parent. In fact, 75% of abused children accidentally disclose the information.
Be sure to talk frequently and openly about sexual abuse with your child. The more they know and the more comfortable they feel talking to you, the more willing they may be to report sexual abuse.
"Males should be able to prevent their rape."
It is estimated that 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before age 18 and that nearly 93,000 men are forcibly raped each year in the
United States
.
Many people mistakenly believe that men should be able to prevent the assault by putting up a fight. The belief is that if a man failed to fight off an attack he is weak. No rape victim - male or female, gay or straight - should be judged for failure to stop an assault.
Some people also believe that if the victim is homosexual or had an erection during the assault, he enjoyed it. No one asks to be raped! And it is important to understand that sexual response is automatic and not within the victim's control - just because his body reacted sexually does not mean he enjoyed the abuse.
"If the people are dating, it's not rape."
Rape is rape, no matter what the relationship is between the victim and perpetrator. Rape is not just committed by strangers in dark alleys. It is estimated that 77% of all rapes are committed by someone known to the victim and 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends.
Everyone has the right to change their mind - even about sex. One form of sexual contact does not necessarily open the door to other sexual activity. Even if the two have had sex before, the perpetrator does not have the right to force sex on the victim.
There are many ways a person can be forced into sexual activity. Sometimes perpetrators use physical force or a weapon, but more often they use coercion, manipulation, or psychological pressure.
"Most rapes are committed by strangers."
Sexual violence can occur at any time and be perpetrated by anybody. It is a common misconception that most sexual assaults are committed by strangers. You are more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone you know-a friend, date, classmate, neighbor, relative-than by a stranger in a dark alley. Familiar people and places are often more dangerous.
Three out of 5 sexual assaults occur in the victim's home or the home of an acquaintance.
It is estimated that 77% of all rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.
"Women often 'cry rape’.”
Women don't lie about rape. According to the FBI, false accusations of rape only account for 2% of all reported sexual assaults - no higher than false reports for any other crimes.
"When an individual commits rape it's because he/she is 'turned on' and has uncontrollable sexual urges."
Forcing someone to engage in a sexual act against her/his will is an act of violence and aggression. The perpetrator is using sex as a weapon to gain power and control over the other person. Desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are within your control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.
"Talking about the rape only makes it worse."
Allowing survivors to discuss sexual abuse/assault helps them heal. Speaking out about sexual assault might be an essential part of the recovery process. It empowers the survivor to erase the shame and stop the silence of sexual violence. However, no survivor should be forced to speak, publicly or privately, before they are ready. Every survivor is the expert on their own recovery. For many, recovery becomes an ongoing process of change that may continue for 1, 5, or 20 years.
Risk Factors: Drugs and Alcohol: Drugs and alcohol are the number one factor that leads to non-stranger (acquaintance) rape. Many victims say that their ability to react was impaired because they were drinking or taking drugs, or that their date had been drinking and became sexually aggressive.
It is estimated that 90% of all acquaintance rapes involve alcohol.
Different Expectations: Acquaintance rape often occurs as a result of misunderstood sex role behaviors and/or communication styles. Don't assume that one form of sexual contact opens the door to other sexual contacts. Also, communicate your sexual expectations with your partner. If you think you are getting mixed messages, ask.
Believing No Means Yes: People who regard sex as "scoring" often believe "no" can be changed to "yes" with a little more pressure or force. Acquaintance rape often masquerades as seduction, with the perpetrators rarely feeling they have done anything wrong. They believe that pressure is a legitimate way to get what they want.
Risk Reduction: Although sexual violence can never be prevented, here are some suggestions to help you reduce your risk of being assaulted.
Trust your gut. If you don't feel comfortable in a situation, leave.
Be in charge of your own life. Don't put yourself in a situation where you have to rely on other people to take care of you. Also, when on a date, don't feel you "owe" that person anything.
Be cautious inviting someone into your home or going to someone else's home. Three out of 5 sexual assaults occur in the victim's home or the home of an acquaintance.
Do not mix sexual decisions with drugs and alcohol. Your ability to make smart decisions is hampered when you are drunk or high.
When going out with someone new, don't feel you have to go alone. Go on a group date or meet in a public place.
Be aware of drugs used to facilitate rape. Don't accept beverages from open containers and don't leave your drink unattended.
Avoid falling for lines such as "If you loved me." If your partner loved you, he/she would respect your feelings and wait until you are ready.
Avoid individuals who:
don't listen to you
ignore personal space boundaries
make you feel guilty or accuse you of being "uptight" for resisting sexual advances
express sexists attitudes and jokes
act jealous or possessive
Communicate. Think about what you really want before you get into a sexual situation, and communicate clearly with your partner. If you think you are getting mixed messages, ask your date what he/she wants.
Be assertive. Respect yourself enough not to do anything you don't want to do. Your opinions matter, and when you say "no," your date should stop.
When “NO” Doesn’t Work: Sometimes, saying "no" will not stop a rape. Listed below are several ways you can react in a sexually violent situation. Thinking about what you would do before an assault ever happens can be your best self-defense strategy.
Act immediately: Trust your intuition and get away if possible. Don't give in to a person's sexual demands in the hope that you can divert him/her later on.
Stay calm. Try to think clearly about all your options. Your brain is your best weapon.
Passive resistance. You may be able to discourage the attacker by talking. Persuade him/her not to commit the assault by making him/her see you as a friend.
Active resistance. If you are not afraid to hurt someone, hit and kick hard-this gives you the opportunity to escape. However, fighting back may anger the attacker and cause him/her to attack more brutally. Self-defense training can make you more confident and improve your physical strength. Training is effective, but it takes continuous practice. It is not a substitute for common sense and awareness.
Submitting. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe. If you feel your life is in danger, your best option may be to submit. Submitting does not mean you consented. The assault is not your fault.